Well, at least for everyone that has known me since my youth.
I was fierce. I was valiant. I had a testimony bigger than anyone I knew. Mormonism was my life, both in Portugal and when I moved to the USA. I went against family, friends, because I would stand for truth and righteous. I was the one the sister missionaries would take on slipts 3 days a week, they would let me teach the discussions, I knew them by heart! My love and relationship with God and Jesus Christ where unshakable. Mormonism brought me peace and happiness, and hope for an eternal life. I knew. I just knew. Sunday school and seminary lessons I taught, the talks I gave, the prayers... They were filled with the spirit. I had a way with words, I touched people's hearts. Nothing could make me stray away.
But hey, here I am. I thought I had gone through really tough stuff in life, but leaving mormonism has been the single most difficult thing I've had to do in my life.
What happen? I understand why people have questions, why they're still shocked, after 3 years. It's been a long, lonely road. I am finally ready to talk about it.
I have to go by parts. I want to tell you my story. But it will have to be in chapters. I anticipate this being hard, to go back and explain things. My goal is to write 2 chapters a week, but I'll commit to at least one. I may feel like writing every day, or just once a week. We'll see.
I'm writing this for myself, I need to let it out and try to come to terms with life outside mormonism. I need to move past this! I'm also writing it for my mormon friends, so they will hopefully understand.
And if you came across this, it's for you too. I hope it will help someone.
I won't leave you hanging, I'll be back this week.
Buckle up, you're on for a ride!
Bela
