Merry Christmas everyone!

To everyone that touched my life this year, in one way or another... for friends and family that are near, close by, or very far away... for those that live in my heart all year ´round. I love you, may God bless you this year.

"Mommy, why does Heavenly Father let things like these happen?

- Suzana asked me as we were driving home from visiting a friend, who recently broke a rib and her hip in a car accident. Suzana wasn't mentioning the broken bones, though. She meant the death of a seventeen year old boy, a friend, the son of a good friend, and the brother of two younguer boys as well as an older sister: who was driving the car as it crashed and who was now home with some broken bones and a broken heart.

At times like these, a question from an eleven year old makes us stop wherever we are in our lives, and think back on what we believe, what we are doing here on Earth, and what we haven't done yet that we always wanted to do. And then we need to answer... we need to somehow make children understand what we're not sure we fully understand the meaninof it all, either. Last night when Suzana sked me that, I had to come to terms with reality and tell her the truth: "I don't know". I really don't. I don't know why parents have to go through the pain of burying a child; I don't understand why a girl has to suffer with the guilt of "letting" her brother die; why did the thirteen year old have to be conscient durind the whole crash and witness his brother pass away... I don't really grasp the strength and faith of a mother that tells me, "I thak God it was only one, the way I saw the car later, it was a miracle that I din't loose all four of them".
I don't deal well with death, even though I know it's part of life. I'm struggling... I remember his smiling face, his energetic spirit, his contagious laugh... and then I remember his cold, deformed body in a white coffin. I close my eyes and see his girlfriend sobbing... the bishop choking on his words when he spoke at the funeral... the hundreds of people that came to say good bye, the tears, the hugs, friends comforting friends... I still hear dozen of young people singing "called to serve" as the body was carried away to a grave... I see tears swealling up in my daughter's eyes, and then a big sob that seems neverending...

So, after the first answer to her question, "I don't know", I have to tell Suzana what I DO know. I know that God lives, that He guides us, and He knows what's best for us, even when that sounds ridiculous, loosing someone cannot in any way be what's best for us... but still I know it, and I know he loves us, he knows us individually, and cares for us like no one is this world has the cappacity to. I know that in a world of uncertainty and pain, Jesus Christ is our beacon, our strength, our rock. I also know that even though heavenly Father is omnipotent, he can never take our freedom to act, and that is what causes so many hurt in the world... and I also know that pain is necessary so we can fully understand happiness, that God has a plan that we can't see, and at times like this, not compreend, but we do not need to understand. At times like these, Faith has to be found in our hearts and minds, and Faith allows us to carry on. Faith takes control and all we trully need to know, is that Heavenly Father loves His children, and that is sufficient. (1 Nephi 11:17)

Tiago, we miss you kid. You are loved.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Ry63_CSbM



http://translate.google.com/translate?client=tmpg&hl=pt&u=http%3A%2F%2Flugarmormon.blogspot.com%2F&langpair=pten

"Some dreams must wait"

"Some dreams must wait. Life isn’t long enough.
Some dreams must wait to come true.
Sometimes it seems life just begins and then all of a sudden it’s through.
There’s songs you won’t sing, there’s stories that you won’t ever hear.
Pages you’ll never turn, words that you’ll never know, things that you never will learn.
Some dreams must wait life isn’t long enough.
Some dreams must wait to come true.
It’s nice to know there’s all eternity for everything you’d like to do.
There aren’t any clocks. There aren’t any things like calendars.
No such thing as too late, just always and evermore,
That’s why I think it’s so great
That Heavenly Father and Mother figured it all out so clever.
There’s never enough time and that is why I’m glad we go on forever.
We go on forever.
Some dreams must wait, life isn’t long enough.
Some dreams must wait to come true.
Sometimes it seems life just begins and then all of a sudden it’s through.
There’s songs you won’t sing, there’s stories that you won’t ever hear.
Pages you’ll never turn, words that you’ll never know, things that you never will learn."




(link for the portuguese speking friends out there , click on the first story at http://www.osetubalense.pt/index.asp?idEdicao=374 )

Toothless wonder!

My valentine

She´s eleven. ELEVEN! Where does time go?
I think I need to start worrying about boys...She IS a doll!

Happy birthday valentine!

Letting go

When we moved to the South I wasn't expecting to find lots of friends. Not that the people here aren't nice enough, just that I have my roots up north and in the U.S. also.
I knew I would find nice ladies at church and be friends with some of them... what I didn't know, was that I would meet someone not from church that would change my life.
I met this ladie in the group of ten that would start training for my new job. She and I had so much in comon... she didnt smoke; she was only three years older than me; she was married and had a 12 year old daughter and a five year old son. She was fun and carefree, and oh so wise. We always sat together, and had dinner breaks together; in two months, I had found a best friend in the South. She taught me patience, she taught me work, she taught me that life sometimes isn't fair and we have to deal with it without feeling blue all the time. Her laugh was contagious and her smile was warm. She was so family oriented, loved to have weekly family nights on Fridays. She was an example to anyone that really knew her. She was my friend. She was my friend.

I think it's time for me to admit that I'm having a hard time letting go. I wasn't ready, it didn't seem possible, she couldn't leave, not just yet. But after two months of a beautiful friendship, I lost her to cancer. It didn't even give us any warning... one day she was fine and the other she was nauseated with what we thought that could be the stomach flu, and then just like that, colon cancer took her preacious life in a hospital bed.

Everyday I go to work I think of her smile and can almost see her there talking to us and making us laugh. I miss her, and I don't know how to deal with a loss so great; I never lost someone so close to me. I don't know how it's done, I don't know how not to be sad, I dont know how to stop hurting. It's been almost three weeks, and I should be able to let go, or so I think. When she passed on, Suzana held me and cried with me; Nicolas said he wishes I'll never have a tummy ache. Jabus let me cry all night and tell him all about this wonderful lady. I know I need to move on and be grateful to have a family and make the most out of life; but I, too, hope that I won't have a tummy ache like that so soon in my life.

I need to let go. Could someone pease tell me how that's done?

Our little Saturday trip.

We took advantage of the sunny day and went exploring the "neighbourhood" today. We drove for a while along the sea side and around the mountais and found an old castle's ruins. It was fun and the kids really enjoyed it. Life in the South has defenitly it's advantages!

Especially for Emily...

Here are some pics of Nicolas' birthday. I will download some more soon. Love ya!