Music boxes

Music boxes
Music boxes have within melodies they carry in them, once they're open music feels the air;
Every person you have known has a song of their own, once they open up you'll hear whats there;
Every person longs to find who they are deep inside, every person yearns to know their place..."

Friday, March 10, 2006

How do you lose a friend?

I have four people in my life that I know for certain would do anything for me. Unfortunatly, they don't leave near me; I still count them as my true angels though, because I know they love me unconditionally, and I can always count on them.
But there's a part of me that aches for a friend like that who lives close to me; one that could come as soon as I called her crying, one that I wouldn't be afraid to just drop by and stay a while and just be there. It's the physical contact, I guess, the hugs, the shoulder, the tears she would let me cry.
Ever since I moved here, over 8 years ago, the search has been on for "THE" friend. Funny thing is, I was certain I had find her, well, let's see... at least 5 times. We become good friends, share secrets, I get all excited, and then, poof! She's gone. Our conversations aren't as personal, she doesn't return my calls, she's tired and busy with other things, and I'm left to wonder what I did wrong. I'm hurt for a while, then someone else comes along, and the story repeats itself all over again.
What is it? How do we lose friends like that? I can only thing of 2 reasons; one, there's something wrong with me, or two, she was never my true friend to begin with (this one hurts a lot more).

Anyway... As I was thinking about these things today, the lyrics of a favorite song popped into my mind. I couldn't describe to you how I feel today if it wasn't for this song; it really says it all.

"I can't do everything.
I know, because I tried;
I told myself I could,
and then found out I lied...
I believed with all my heart
that I could do it all...
But I can't do everything,
and when I try, I fall.

I can't please everyone.
I know, because I tried.
I needed their love so much,
Sometimes I compromised...
But the more I live and learn,
the more I plainly see
that I can't please anyone,
until I'm pleased with me."

5 comments:

Misty said...

You're just going to have to move close to me! ;)

Bela said...

Misty, one day I'll show up at your doorstep, you'll just wait and see! :)

The Constant Gardener said...

I don't know Bela, but I've had the same things happen to me. My closest friend lives across the country and I miss her like you wouldn't believe. I have great friends here, but I'm so afraid of overstepping and losing one that I don't get too close. Sigh. We can't win, eh?

Millionaira said...

Bela sweet Bela...I so know your pain...i hate living far away from the ppl that i really feel connected to...like you and Tish and several other ladies we both know...and ya know, i can always be there in 2 hrs or so depening on flights, so if you need me i will do what i can to be there!!!

Heididodah said...

I swear I wrote this post not too long ago. I know exactly what you mean and I'm so sorry you aren't close by to anyone.