When we moved to the South I wasn't expecting to find lots of friends. Not that the people here aren't nice enough, just that I have my roots up north and in the U.S. also.
I knew I would find nice ladies at church and be friends with some of them... what I didn't know, was that I would meet someone not from church that would change my life.
I met this ladie in the group of ten that would start training for my new job. She and I had so much in comon... she didnt smoke; she was only three years older than me; she was married and had a 12 year old daughter and a five year old son. She was fun and carefree, and oh so wise. We always sat together, and had dinner breaks together; in two months, I had found a best friend in the South. She taught me patience, she taught me work, she taught me that life sometimes isn't fair and we have to deal with it without feeling blue all the time. Her laugh was contagious and her smile was warm. She was so family oriented, loved to have weekly family nights on Fridays. She was an example to anyone that really knew her. She was my friend. She was my friend.
I think it's time for me to admit that I'm having a hard time letting go. I wasn't ready, it didn't seem possible, she couldn't leave, not just yet. But after two months of a beautiful friendship, I lost her to cancer. It didn't even give us any warning... one day she was fine and the other she was nauseated with what we thought that could be the stomach flu, and then just like that, colon cancer took her preacious life in a hospital bed.
Everyday I go to work I think of her smile and can almost see her there talking to us and making us laugh. I miss her, and I don't know how to deal with a loss so great; I never lost someone so close to me. I don't know how it's done, I don't know how not to be sad, I dont know how to stop hurting. It's been almost three weeks, and I should be able to let go, or so I think. When she passed on, Suzana held me and cried with me; Nicolas said he wishes I'll never have a tummy ache. Jabus let me cry all night and tell him all about this wonderful lady. I know I need to move on and be grateful to have a family and make the most out of life; but I, too, hope that I won't have a tummy ache like that so soon in my life.
I need to let go. Could someone pease tell me how that's done?