I realize I should be doing this already, since it's December 10th and it would've been nice to have started in the beginning of the month. But since it's always better late than never, I will start today. My goal is to ponder about one character trait of Christ a day, and then try to apply it to my life.
The first one I want to talk about is
They say it's hard to ask for forgiveness; hard to apologize; hard to say " I'm sorry dude, I was a total jerk". They say it takes courage, and willingness to admit a wrong, having to, at times, swallow some frogs and leave pride aside. Maybe. I guess that if I think about it, I see why people say it's hard. But not as hard as being on the other side; being the one that was hurt, being the one that was offended, being the one that was victim or cruelty and harm.
When we are on that side of the fence, having someone come and say "I'm sorry" may even provoke more feelings of distress.
You're sorry? Really? Don't say... Whay my life is completly turned upside down because of you, and you think that walking here and simply saying I'm sorry will just fix everything... and I guess I'm supposed to just say, oh it's ok, run along now, all is well, thanks for apologizing... NOT!
The truth is, forgiving IS the hardest thing to do. To be able to let go, to be able to look at the person who hurt us in a nice way again, and to be able to not think about whatever it was that was done when you see that person, and to not roll our eyes just as someone mentions her or his name. That is the true hard thing to do.
As graceful as we want to be at times, we do say we forgive, and in an attempt to be Christlike, we do accept apologies, and let that person sigh in relief. But as we find ourselves alone, we think back and are not at peace. We need more. We need to really let it all out, and be able to move on, with a heart full of love and gratitude. Yes, gratitude. Because forgiving is a gift, and when received, we grow inside, we grow in joy, peace and faith.
It's not easy.
There's a Michael Mclean favorite that sings: "only love nourishes the soul. If it's not love, simply let it go."
Today I would like to thank all my friends that, in present or past, have been able to accomplish this great challenge. Thank you to those that, just like Christ, chose to look at my qualities and overlook the faults. Thanks for loving me after you realized I'm not perfect, and have yet a long journey ahead to get even close to it. Thank you to my children that accept my apologies when I never get to make the promised cookies. Thank you to my sister for laughing at the times I yelled at her and hit her hard (yes, I was small, but feisty). Thank you to each and everyone of you that, after a sincere apology, just look at me, smile in spite of the situation, slap me gently in the head and say in a joking tone, "you do it again, I'll chase you down and beat you up".
Thank you for doing the true hard thing, letting go.